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Reimagining Love — Romantic Friendships

“Along the way we do find soul mates, true friends, life companions. We find communion. Another great wisdom gift that women offer to those who have not yet discovered its pleasures is the wisdom that it is better to know the joy of dancing in a circle of love than to dance alone.” -Bell Hooks, Communion: The Female Search for Love

  1. When we were teenagers, eating acid, taking turns reading, “The Mists of Avalon” aloud. Climbing out on the roof to watch the city.
  2. Sneaking my friend’s step-brother’s car. Jamming Biggie Smalls. Gas-and-going. Making our way to a missile silo to watch the stars.
  3. Burning sage in my friend’s shed. “Diving Into the Wreck” by Adrienne Rich. Walking through pines to the creek. Taking off all our clothes. Lying naked in the soft moss under the trees and sunlight.
  4. Tagging in the train yard. At sunset. Under the Rocky Mountains.
  5. Watching a full solar eclipse. At the base of the Tetons. Next to a river. Lighting a candle. Listening to my friend’s story during the eclipse. Writing a poem. Jumping into the river.
  6. The day I got kicked out when I was fourteen and had to move in with my best friend. Spending an entire day swimming in post-storm Holland Park drainage ditch water. On acid. And dying my hair black.
  7. Being held by two friends. Weeping through the loss of a childhood wound. During a lightning storm.
  8. Countless dance parties. Including the one where my friend from NYC Skyped in and danced with me for over an hour.
  9. Lighting a fire in my backyard. With my step-daughter. Roasting marshmallows. And getting real about how much we love each other. How confusing it is to be separated in this way. How we are even closer now despite being separated.

Writer, poet, activist trying to resolve deep ancestral shame by being hella real.

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